Thursday, July 19, 2012

A Peaceful Remembrance

Six years ago yesterday, July 18, marks the day that my mama passed away. It still seems surreal just typing the words. It's so hard to believe that she isn't here with us anymore. It certainly doesn't feel right and probably never will. It's amazing how, in spite of it all, life goes on. After she died, everyone told me, "it will get easier with time." I didn't believe them. However, I will say now that it does get a tiny bit easier. You learn to move past the heartache to more a peaceful remembrance. I still feel like she is with me and I'm reminded of it when I download photos off my camera and see one like this.

Someone remarked that the picture looked like a painting -- and it does, kind of. I am no stellar photographer, that's for sure. It's just that the universe aligned to capture a moment in time almost perfectly. I can hear Mama saying, "Ooh, I want to paint this one!" And she would have because she pretty much did anything she set her mind to. It gives me comfort thinking that maybe she somehow helped to orchestrate this picture -- the love of her life and a grandson she never met. Maybe that sounds hokey, but who cares. Deep down, I know she is infinitely happy in her new life. It doesn't stop me from wanting her here. Somehow, this picture reminds me that she is and she always will be with me -- until we meet again.


  1. I love this photo and this post - it made me cry, but in a good way. She's definitely in you, and in your boys. A beautiful tribute to her beautiful life.

  2. I really should not have read this at work. Now I must go find a tissue. Very beautiful! It's been 9 years since my dad passed, and like you said, it does get a tiny bit easier. I do really wish he could have met Cooper and Quinn- that does make me tear up when I think about it. Now I seriously have to go get a tissue.

  3. Aw, thanks. I was tearing up writing it. It's good to get things out sometimes! And Angela, I know how you feel. That's the thing that bothers me the most. I think about how she would be loving all over these boys. I think that's part of why I'm so affectionate with my boys ... just sharing the love. :)

  4. I am touched by this. The photo is perfect. I miss my Dad too. It has been 22 years and it is still hard. My nephew looks so much like him it makes it easier in a way. I think of him at the oddest times like when I am digging into a jar of pickles.

    I like to think he made the acquaintance of the grandchildren he never interacted with in the flesh while they were still in Heaven.